Plate

I am visiting ChooseMyPlate.gov in search of current nutritional guidelines. I am immediately drawn to the list of people classifications. But there is a glaring problem with the list: none of the available choices fit a person like me.

  • Dieters (though I could stand to to lose a few, this is not me)
  • Pregnant & Breastfeeding Women (the particulars of my construction make this an automatic no-go)
  • Children, age 6-11 (I might act like one on occasion, but I’m too old)
  • Preschoolers, ages 2-5 (I never attended, and too old for that trick now)
  • En Español (I don’t know nearly enough Spanish for what’s behind door number cinco)
  • Educators/Teachers (I did not choose that profession way back when, because I saw what my teachers had to deal with. It has only gotten worse.)
  • Health Care Professionals (I don’t think IT at a medical facility qualifies)
  • Partners (I am neither in some kind of non-traditional marital nor business relationship, so that one’s off my, uh, plate)
  • MyPlate Graphics (I may let some graphic language slip from time to time, but…?)

That’s it, nothing for a typical (or not) middle-aged human male. Now I could try clicking every link on the page, but I am going to do what a typical middle-aged Internet user would do with a web site like this: leave the site and see what my favored search engine turns up.

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