What if Will Smith had done an adaptation of Helen Reddy’s 1970s hit song, when he starred in the movie adaptation of Richard Matheson’s 1954 novel…
I am legend, hear them roar
Too many mutants to ignore
I’m immune and hope the antidote’s in my blood
Hunting deer in broad daylight
My dog Sam was bit in a fight
I sure hope this time the cure is not a dud.
OK, maybe not. How about Al Yankovic?
Sometimes our kids make us proud. Sometimes we are left scratching our heads wondering how they manage to think their infuriating behavior is anywhere remotely acceptable. Today, on Mother’s Day, of all days, we had infuriating behavior in spades.
Now we know being a parent is no easy task. But after talking with teachers and our parents, siblings, and friends we have come to the conclusion our children rate a little higher than average on the difficulty score.
Let me cut to the chase: we decided to give Positive Parenting with a Plan, by Matthew Johnson a try.
Figuring out which edition is the current one was not the easiest task. If you like, you can take advantage of the fruits of my labor:
My wife bought the paperback, and I bought the Kindle version. My long commute makes for long work days, and would have made it hard for both of us to finish reading a single copy quickly. Plus, this allowed us to compare notes as we progressed through the book.
Rather than bore you with gobs of detail about the book here, I’ll let you explore the book’s website and reviews available on the bookseller sites. Or if you prefer, you can come along for the ride on my blog, where I will explain more in future posts.
We read the book and prepared most of our kit (tokens, list of rules, etc.) accordingly. Though not completely prepared, the kids’ behavior today demanded we start today. They were not too pleased about all the new rules. They were pleased to hear my wife and I have to follow the rules as well or incur the same consequences (one or more Good Habits cards–a set of punishments and non-punishments meant to encourage better behavioral habits). Following the rules earns reward tokens that can later be exchanged for one of the rewards from a list both kids helped make.
As I said before, I’ll explain more about the book and how we are doing with the plan as we make our way on this adventure. Wish us luck!
This last weekend I did something I don’t recall ever doing before: openly chastising another person’s child in front of the parent.
Let me start with the cast of characters, names changed to protect the innocent and guilty alike.
And now for the story, details changed to protect the innocent and guilty alike, and also because memory isn’t necessarily the most reliable in the heat of the moment…
Daphne asks her child about going to a movie. Not just any movie, but the hot movie of the week, and the late show at that. And in full hearing of Margaret’s ears. Margaret asks Daphne if she can tag along. Daphne says it is fine with her, provided Margaret’s mother, Velma, gives her OK.
Velma thinks a moment, and gives a thumbs down. It will be quite late before Margaret will get home, and there is school tomorrow. Margaret is not happy with that answer, and she proceeds with a couple rounds of begging and pleading. Getting nowhere, she tells her mother she is mean, and storms off.
Margaret waits awhile, then goes back to her mother to plead her case again. Again, the answer is “no,” and again Margaret calls her mother “mean.”
Rinse, and repeat.
It is now about time for my family to gather up our belongings and head home. Thirsty, I head to the kitchen for some water before the trip. In the kitchen I find My Wife, Daphne, Velma, and Margaret. And guess who is pleading her case to tag along for movie night again.
Velma is tired of the pleading. Daphne doesn’t really say anything. My Wife asks if Velma has heard about the parenting plan we are about to try in our family. (More on that in a later post.) Velma doesn’t want to hear about another book. “I have tried them all, and I am ready to ship off them off!”
Margaret asks about the movie one more time. Velma is clearly mad, and says “no” one more time. As I make my way out of the kitchen I hear, “You’re mean!” again.
Normally, if my child is not involved I try to bite my tongue. But this time my tongue would not be restrained, and before I could stop myself I let Margaret verbally have it.
“All of us parents are sick and tired of you kids pulling the ‘you’re mean’ card. We have had it.”
I don’t think I have ever seen her eyes get that big. My voice grew louder, but to me still seemed under more control than that of a raving madman.
“‘No’ means ‘no,’ period. If you don’t like it that is just too bad. How many times do you need to be told that you are not going to the movie tonight? Your mom is mean because she said ‘no’ to a movie? Are you kidding me? There is no way in hell any of us would have gotten away with talking to our parents the way you all talk to us, and we are done with it!”
The swearing cued My Wife to gently touch my arm in effort to calm me down. It probably worked, because pent up frustration was starting to come out under less control, and more like a raving madman. And this wasn’t even my kid. I left the kitchen with a few more ranting phrases.
And then silence. In the entire house.
On the way home, My Wife said Margaret ran out the back door in tears, and that Velma didn’t seem to mind. And both Velma and My Wife are miffed at Daphne, for once again bringing up something like a movie in front of children other than her own, putting her siblings in the position of potential bad guy yet again.
Even if Velma didn’t mind, the incident bothers me. It doesn’t strike me as one of my proudest of parental moments. Sure, Margaret was being a disrespectful brat. But was I too hard on her? Was I out of place? Maybe those are questions best answered by Velma.
One of the blog posts I read this morning is “Profanation of the Sublime.” I have to say, I have to agree with Doctor Quack’s assessment of classical radio vs. what many might consider to be its polar opposite.
And then he began to describe the awesome beauty of wildflower blooms in Central Texas. We all know how pictures don’t even begin to do the beauty of nature justice. But if Quack’s photos are any indication, the blooms are more than a sight to behold. And I would agree with him, that sometimes the typical description of a flower’s loveliness doesn’t quite cover it.
Now before you read further, take special note that I am not going to call the kettle black here. I freely admit to crossing the same line he did way too often: taking A Particular Someone’s name in vain to make a point.
Further on Quack makes a very fitting statement. “Cuss words are like a currency. The more you use them, the less valuable they become.”
Not just cuss words, though. I think the much the same can be said about we how all too easily use the Lord’s name. Isn’t it true that the more we use His name irreverently, the less value we consider both it and Him to be to have?
Have you noticed that His is the only name anyone ever uses in vain? Think about it. Think long, think hard. Buddha? Great Spirit? Gaia? Robert? Paula? Nope, nope, nope, nope, and nope. I cannot think of a single other individual whose name is used in the same, casual, ongoing, devaluing way as the Lord.
Is this because deep down we all know the immeasurable value of His name, and that deep down we know all others really have no value? Do we try to give some kind of value to all other names by using His as though it had no value?
One of the exchanges we occasionally have with one of our children goes something like this:
Parent: Please do this thing I am asking you to do. (Usually a reminder to do something that should have already been done.)
Child: I will.
Parent: Please do it now.
Child: I will!
Parent: Instead of “I will,” just do.
This morning I ran across the blog post “I’ll be praying for you.” In it the author, Kara, describes how it is all too easy to tell someone you will pray for them, yet never get around to actually doing it. Instead, it is better to say nothing and just pray.
I am guilty of telling people I will pray for them, and then not following through. Instead of saying, “I will,” I need to just do.
How about you?
Today marks a full 29 days since I have donned cycling garb and put foot to pedal. The calendar also shows I intend to ride the 47th Minnesota Ironman Bike Ride in just 15 days.
I have a couple perfectly reasonable excuses for not training. Demands of my job required I suspend the once or twice weekly lunchtime Cycle 45 sessions. Worse, I acquired a cold that became an energy-draining sinus infection. Drained enough that I spent the bulk of more than one weekend day sacked out on the couch.
Perfectly reasonable excuses for not training. For four weeks? Really?
Being honest with myself, I lost sight of my goal and kept putting training off. Except for the week or so where I was sleeping up to 16 hours a day, I could have made time each week to make the pedals go ’round. Granted, maybe not at a normal intensity, but I would have still been headed toward the goal.
When I registered for the event ten weeks ago, I was eager for the century route. Now that is a daunting prospect. Even so, I getting back on the bike from where I am now. I am still headed to the Ironman ride.
Sounds a lot like other things in life…
Consider the statement of faith used during Palm Sunday services at my church:
I believe that God made me and is shaping me still, leading me on a journey through life, through death, and into a new creation.
I believe that Jesus Christ watched creation and me being made, that he stepped into our world to travel our path, that he still journeys with me and all people, walking with us through life, through death, and into a new creation.
I believe that the Holy Spirit moves through creation, gathering me and all humanity into relationship and new community, leading us through life, through death, and into a new creation.
I recited it along with everyone else, but without any of the eagerness I heard in some voices. The more of it the congregation read, the more lukewarm and unsubstantial it seemed to be. As Clara Peller used to say, “Where’s the beef?” But why? I have been pondering that for the last two weeks.
Since then, three points have repeatedly come to mind.
1. There is nothing in the statement about Christ’s atoning sacrificial death and resurection. This is central to the Christian faith. Is it not reasonable that any Christian statement of faith include mention of His sacrifice?
2. The statement seems to indicate everyone is headed to everlasting life. I know there are many who don’t want to believe it, but the Bible is quite clear that many will find themselves in everlasting death. So why allude otherwise?
3. The statement says everyone will enter into a common relationship and community. Again, the Bible is quite clear that to follow Christ will lead to a life of rejection by most people encountered in daily life, perhaps even members your own immediate family. While I don’t think a Christian statement of faith necessarily include this point, is it not rather disingenuous for such a statement to lead people to think following Christ will be free of conflict and strife?
I am very interested to read what others have to say about this. What do you think?
Today I discovered it is National Procrastination Week 2013. It started yesterday, so it is appropriate that it notified me sometime after it started.
Also appropriate is that I didn’t manage to finish my February post on Time, on time. I admit it, I kept putting it off until it was too late to post while it was still February. Nothing like a little virtual time travel to put the post back in its place in time.
To make up for my tardiness, I am celebrating National Procrastination Week right now.
Time and I have an interesting relationship. Some would find it perplexing, but I find it perfectly reasonable and normal. This is most evident by the myriad of clocks I encounter on any given day. Take, for example, my typical work day.
My alarm goes off at 4:00 AM. That would be local time, as in local to my bedroom. I usually hit snooze twice before silencing the alarm for good on the third ring at 4:14. (Most alarm clocks seem to have a nine-minute snooze interval, but mine is seven.) If I’m extra tired, I go for an extra snooze, giving me until 4:21.
Dragging myself out of bed, I put the bows of my glasses in my mouth and grab my phone. The glasses go in my mouth because it’s faster and easier than putting them on. Besides, at 4:something in the morning it is so dark that whether my vision is corrected is irrelevant. That’s where my trusty HTC HD7 comes in. Its 4.3-inch capacitive touch display lights my path well enough for my uncorrected eyes to see any obstacles that may lay in my path. (It does have a flashlight app, but the light is bright enough to rival the sun. More than a bit much for 4:something in the morning.)
The shower is a dangerous place, time-wise. Especially when my sleep deprivation is a little on the high side. A quick check of my phone drags me kicking and screaming into “real time.” If it reads before 4:30, I am doing OK. 4:35 or later means I probably visited la-la land while standing motionless in the spraying water, and I need to move with a purpose.
Fully dressed, next stop is the kitchen, a trichronal wonderland. The microwave and stove are close in time to each other and real time. The clock over the sink is somewhere between five and ten minutes ahead of the appliances. Yet, somehow I manage to know what time it is by looking at any one of them.
Then there is my car, the inside of which I am convinced exists a bubble of time that is always about 15 minutes into the future. No matter how you set the clock, it creeps until it settles on 15 minutes ahead of real time. And then it stays that much ahead. I am grateful that my car’s clock behaves this way. If I am running a few minutes late, by car time, I will still arrive at my destination early.
During the day my watch keeps me enveloped in a tiny bubble of time about eight minutes in the future. The offset from real time varies gradually farther and closer to real time. I tend to look at it as math practice. I am now really good at subtracting eight from another number.
All other clocks I regularly use are computers, all synced to real time by an internet time beacon. My phone, mentioned above. My laptop in the guise of a tablet. My workstation and assorted servers at work. These all temporarily bring me back in sync with real time.
I prefer to be a little out of sync, a few minutes ahead, so I can see what’s coming before most everyone else.
Whenever I hop on a stationary cycle, I find that my legs naturally latch onto the beat of whatever music is playing. That is a good thing when my legs are tired, because it helps me keep going beyond my too-tired-to-keep-going point.
Most health club music tends to be in the 120-130 BPM (beats per minute) range, which typically translates to pedaling at 60-65 RPM. With concentration I can manage to a crank-and-a-half 90-97.5 RPM pace for a few minutes before going out of sync and soon reverting back to 60-65 RPM. My legs are like moths to the beat’s flame.
Now this is fine if only ever pedaling in place. This is not so fine when it comes to venturing out on the roads and trails. Why? The human body adapts to the training it is given, and by the time the weather warms up I want my legs ready to go the distance at any RPM.
I have plenty of music on my MP3 player, but most of it isn’t really conducive to wide range of cycling speeds. I went through just about every song and counted beats. The BPM range was staggeringly limiting. I needed to expand my musical horizons.
Over the Christmas holiday, I ran across Music Maker Jam by MAGIX in the Windows Store. Music Maker Jam is a free app that lets you make music by assembling loops.
A loop is a short bit of music made purposely to be repeated as part of a larger musical piece. The vast majority of popular music produced today likely includes some, or is even composed entirely of, looped music. Not just electronic instruments like synthesizers and drums, but acoustic instruments like guitars, trumpets, pianos. Even short pieces played by entire orchestras are made into loops.
I bought a few inexpensive loop libraries from within Music Maker Jam for a few bucks each and experimented. I had fun and created a couple MP3s. The app is great for what it is, but I soon found myself wanting to go beyond its walls. There is no way to enter short bits of melody. I found assembling a piece longer than a minute or two to be increasingly tedious. The loop libraries’ terms of use was a little too restrictive for my taste. To be fair, this is the most entry-level edition of the software. MAGIX does offer more fully-featured editions, but I didn’t like the correspondingly much higher prices.
That said, no matter what your musical ability, if you have Windows RT or Windows 8 give Music Maker Jam a try. It is pretty fun to play with.
Then I remembered I had an older copy of Sony Creative Software’s ACID Music Studio. I installed and played with the trial of the current version. It felt more polished than what I remembered of my old version, what little use I made of it. It didn’t take long to know that this was more in line with what I was looking for: plenty of editing power, the ability to add loops and melody, and ACID loop libraries are all royalty-free. Bonus: connects to instruments via MIDI (musical instrument digital interface), which I will put to use if when I manage to dust off the keyboard.
The cost to upgrade to the current version was quite reasonable, around $25 with holiday discount. And it included my choice of a reasonably large loop library. I put my Christmas cash to use. (Thanks, Mom- and Dad-in-law!)
After about a month of playing with ACID Music Studio, I think I am starting to get a better feel for how to choose and combine loops in ways that sound good. It is not as easy as grabbing a percussion loop, a bass loop, and a melodic loop and calling it done. If it were that easy, we would all have album deals.
Somewhat surprising to me, is that I cannot simply set the tempo to 160 bpm (for pedaling at 80 RPM) and expect a good result. A lot of loops don’t work so well at that tempo, and instead become a blur of noise. At the same time, most loops do not sound good at all at 40 bpm (also for 80 RPM).
So, I keep experimenting. I figure by the time the weather is warm enough for outdoor rides, I should have at least one song made for indoor pedaling at each of 50, 60, …, 100 RPM. Time will tell!
